Why bondage

[lamoni1719]

Just curious, I've never understood why some people get into bondage and enjoy it, especially speedo bondage. Unfortunately I saw some material and made me uneasy why some people go into it, get hurt, and just enjoy it. Could you all enlighten me.

[BJE]

The idea of bondage turns me on. However I've only gotten my wife to tie me to the bed a couple of times. I don't know about speedo bondage but I fantscize about being bound up and sexually "used and abused" by my wife. Giving up sexual control of my body to her is a big turn on. I wouldn't like the clostraphobic sort of bondage where people are wrapped up in something and can't move.

[delelan]

It really boils down to trust and allowing your spouse to do what they want. It's about not having to think or do anything and getting satisfied. If at any point your uncomfortable then your spouse should stop and not do that. While your tied up or bound you still have control. It's up to you how hard and how kinky you want it. This is pretty much true not only in bondage but any sexual encounter you want to have. If both are comfortable then it's okay. If either party member isn't then it's not okay. Having sex as an consenting adults should be fun and exciting for both parties. Have fun and enjoy the experience. If you don't or your partner doesn't then don't. It's really comes down to what you both like and doesn't concern anyone else.

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[BJE]

I’ll revive this thread and ask if anyone here is into bondage. Since I answered above my wife has tied me naked and spread eagle to the bed a few more times. I love the feeling of total vulnerability.

[90210njshore]

You summarize it best, BJE. It is the feeling of vulnerability and knowing you do not have full control over the situation. And for some, to a lesser degree, it is also the idea of trying to conquer the situation he or she may be in. For me, it is the definitely the former and I think it is because I am Type A in most aspects of my life, so it is a change of pace.

I am personally not into extreme bondage. I wouldn't mind being tied up and tickled. I also don't mind playful wrestling with someone who is stronger than me or if I am put at a disadvantage. And, once I am proficient in the water, I would not mind some safe (and minimal) bondage underwater or pool wrestling.

BJE, glad your wife could give you a few more sessions. Didn't you want her to tie you up with a speedo on?

[BJE]

Did she use a toy on you bje

Of course toys are used on me!

[BJE]

You summarize it best, BJE. It is the feeling of vulnerability and knowing you do not have full control over the situation.

BJE, glad your wife could give you a few more sessions. Didn't you want her to tie you up with a speedo on?

It would t be fun if I wasn’t naked. However I have a fantasy of being tied up fully clothed then she cuts all the clothes off of me to gain access.

[90210njshore]

You summarize it best, BJE. It is the feeling of vulnerability and knowing you do not have full control over the situation.

BJE, glad your wife could give you a few more sessions. Didn't you want her to tie you up with a speedo on?

It would t be fun if I wasn’t naked. However I have a fantasy of being tied up fully clothed then she cuts all the clothes off of me to gain access.

She is so close! Put on some old clothes that would otherwise be donated and let her go to town!

[BJE]

I have Olympic style gymnastics rings hanging from my garage ceiling that I use for doing pull-ups. My dressed bondage fantasy actually involves my hands being tied to the rings such that I almost can’t touch the floor. My wife could then pull all my lower clothes off of me and only need to cut my shirt off. However his would be a summertime activity because it’s only about 45 degrees in my garage right now. It might however be quite erotic to be hanging from the garage ceiling while naked and shivering.

The problem with this fantasy is privacy. I have a 16 year old son who parks in the garage and comes and goes. It would be quite embarrassing to be found by my children tied up naked in the garage.

[rozelle]

Wow your sex life is very hot bje! I too get turned on by bondages and being dominated by hot leather daddies. It's totally right that it's the feeling of being owned and used and abused that turns me on. I'm not into hardcore bdsm action but I would try it maybe once. Hell I haven't even done anything remotely close to bdsm.

[BJE]

I haven’t done anything close to bdsm either but I would like to try it with my wife being the dominant one. At this point I’m lucky to be bound and sexually pleasured. The only pain I have experienced in this is from some rough testicle play. However the pain was erotic pleasure. Having your testicles treated roughly while being powerless to prevent it is very erotic.

[90210njshore]

I have Olympic style gymnastics rings hanging from my garage ceiling that I use for doing pull-ups. My dressed bondage fantasy actually involves my hands being tied to the rings such that I almost can’t touch the floor. My wife could then pull all my lower clothes off of me and only need to cut my shirt off. However his would be a summertime activity because it’s only about 45 degrees in my garage right now. It might however be quite erotic to be hanging from the garage ceiling while naked and shivering.

The problem with this fantasy is privacy. I have a 16 year old son who parks in the garage and comes and goes. It would be quite embarrassing to be found by my children tied up naked in the garage.

Yes, be good to the kids. I still remember walking in on my parents when I was a teen... OY.

Send the kids away with a relative for a weekend - win/win! They spend time with people they love and you get to bond with your wife. Pun intended.

[_su_]

To answer the original post, it's nice to surrender the reins sometimes. I think for most men, society pushes us to be the decision-makers, and it's very pleasurable to surrender that responsibility completely and alleviate all performance anxiety.

Another example, I am certified to teach yoga, but found that when teaching, I am concentrating on which pose should come next or if I need to offer alternative poses, and can't allow my mind to let go and relax and enjoy the practice like I can when someone else is guiding the class.

Another viewpoint of bondage is that the submissive one is actually in control. With safe words, they are allowing the dominant person to act, and can stop things at any time.

Also, bondage does not equal s&m or pain, and does not necessarily mean being bound to a fixed place. You may be free to move, but have a toy or something bound to you, or even wear something constrictive. I suspect those of us who may enjoy wearing a tighter-fitting swimming garment may relate. For me, sometimes my blood pressure reads a bit high, thanks to a hot nurse pumping up a blood pressure cuff on my arm.

[90210njshore]

To answer the original post, it's nice to surrender the reins sometimes. I think for most men, society pushes us to be the decision-makers, and it's very pleasurable to surrender that responsibility completely and alleviate all performance anxiety.

Another example, I am certified to teach yoga, but found that when teaching, I am concentrating on which pose should come next or if I need to offer alternative poses, and can't allow my mind to let go and relax and enjoy the practice like I can when someone else is guiding the class.

Another viewpoint of bondage is that the submissive one is actually in control. With safe words, they are allowing the dominant person to act, and can stop things at any time.

Also, bondage does not equal s&m or pain, and does not necessarily mean being bound to a fixed place. You may be free to move, but have a toy or something bound to you, or even wear something constrictive. I suspect those of us who may enjoy wearing a tighter-fitting swimming garment may relate. For me, sometimes my blood pressure reads a bit high, thanks to a hot nurse pumping up a blood pressure cuff on my arm.

Spot on with every point! Wish I could attest to the nurse and BP though... I wouldn't mind a buxom blonde checking to make sure I am healthy.

[blueflinch]

I'm not into bondage. Some people are - and that's fine. I think there's a heavy element of fantasy involved. If you don't have those fantasies, then bondage probably isn't going to make a lot of sense ...

[BJE]

I think you are right. I have a lot of sexual fantasies. To be into it you have to get excited at the thought of it.